The real effect of Viagra seems to be a lot subtler

A 62-year-old man, who asked that his name not be disclosed, described in an interview how his experience with Viagra helped change his attitudes about aging.

The man, a widower who has been in a long-term relationship since 2004, said he initially looked to ED drugs as a savior.

“This is going to give me back everything,” he said.

But that wasn’t the case. The man said he has ended up using Viagra on and off for the last 10 years. But he no longer believes they are necessary. “In some ways it’s a nice addition, but not so important that I need to have it every time,” he said. “We’ve sort of made an adjustment.”

Therapists and others who counsel people on relationships say that the very existence of pills like Certified Viagra, Cialis made by Eli Lilly and Levitra produced by Bayer Health Care have heaped expectations on an age group that may have more concerns than just whether they can still have sex. (It’s stressful enough at 30. But 70?).

Leonore Tiefer, a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in New York, recalled two patients, a couple in their 70s, both widowed. Their experiment with legitimate Viagra had been unsuccessful. “They were eager for companionship but somehow they both felt they ought to be having sex,” she said. “I said you are supposed to be free of this kind of imperative at this point in your life. Why do you think you ought to be doing this?”

The ensuing dialogue, she said, went along the lines of the following: “I thought you wanted to. I thought you would have wanted to.” It turned out neither one of them cared.

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